Anger

Following up on my last post, here is a compilation of my favourite songs that help me embrace and get over anger.

As I wrote it last time, I was a rebelling teenager, who, of course, could not find understanding in my parents. I know better now, but then I was just… stupid maybe. I got into fights with my mother over the usual, where were I, what did I do, etc. But this wasn’t the only source of anger in me. I started to see the world different. My parents, teachers, mostly everyone seemed lame and clueless. Their actions and reactions on life seemed robotic, or sheepish. The life they promised when I was kid shattered day by day. I still feel like this sometimes, I’m just starting to see the beauty in this cluelessness.

I really like Korn and Slipknot, and listened to every single song made by them for long years. Everybody, who wasn’t familiar with this kind of music said that it was angry music. But I disagree. Not all of them are angry. I wouldn’t listen to all of them individually, if they were the same. They each have a different emotion for me. And they’re not like ,,this is only angry, this is only frustration, etc”, it’s the beautiful mixes of emotions I can embrace in an awesome musical interpretation.

People often think, music makes teenagers angry. I don’t think it’s true. People act different, when they’re angry. Some weird people hit things, I mean, that is just plain stupid to me. Some yell, some cry. I remember being angry at the whole world. Being angry because I existed. And than I went to my room and listened to my music. Didn’t hit anything. Didn’t crack and yell it all out on some poor soul next to me, who probably didn’t deserve it. Just listened to my songs. Because knowing, that somebody else knows what you are feeling is freeing.

I mean, look at Slipknot. They never heard of me ever, they don’t even know I exist. But they know what I fell. They sing about it. They found each other, and became a band. They made a career out of the feelings that make me want to get out of this world. They are therapy to me.

You will find, that most of the metalheads don’t hate everybody. They don’t hurt anybody. They’re actually really nice, I have lots of friends from this time of my life, and they’re quite charming actually. Yes, they have a side of them, that enjoy some screaming and toughness in music. And to me, this means that I can talk with them about things that other people don’t find comfortable talking about. And those taboos are weird for me. Weirder than black clothing and strong make up and masks and metal studs.

What do you do, when you are angry? Do you have any angry music? Please leave your thoughts in the comments, I really look forward for them.

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One thought on “Anger

  1. I’m a Hulk type of person when it comes to being angry. (Probably because basically it’s really hard to make me aggressive.)
    Of course besides throwing and breaking things, I listen to music, my favorite for these moments are Slayer songs (or sometimes Meshuggah, Dillinger Escape Plan).

    PS: One thing I like in the Hungarian language is that you can swear for 4-5 minutes without being repetitive. I’m not saying I’m able to do that when I’m angry 😀 but it’s good to have many options to scold the situation/person/machine. 😛

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